“Building a business is so hard. I always feel like I’m days away from going completely broke.”
“He’s not too sure how he feels about me. He says he’s not available for a relationship right now. But, I’m sure if I stick around for long enough, get thinner, and become interested in what he’s interested in, he’ll finally see the light and commit.”
“I’m always broke and exhausted. I never have enough money, help, or time.”
“I’m always rushing, paying bills late, or missing important deadlines. I don’t mean to be so behind on things, but my plate is so full.”
Maybe you’ve said one (or several) of these statements yourself. Heck, maybe you say them to yourself regularly. But do you know what they all smell like? They smell like a big pile of struggle.
And it stinks.
Being addicted to struggle reeks of “not enoughness” and excuses. It seems noble, brave, and valiant, doesn’t it?
But it’s not.
You know what it is?
What it really is?
Cowardice.
Cowardice wrapped up in a moth-eaten, dingy, superwoman cape.
Ouch.
Yes, that’s tough to hear. But it’s true.
And you know what? The truth hurts sometimes.
Instead of throwing out the old cape and replacing it with a new one that’s worthy of your superpowers, struggle keeps you stuck trying to patch up something that’s clearly beneath you.
The difference between being addicted to struggle and facing obstacles
Now, this isn’t to say that you won’t face hard times, adversity, and challenges in life.
In any journey, you’ll have to overcome obstacles and do things to push your limits. The difference is that obstacles are fruitful because they result in growth.
Obstacles and challenges teach you new things about yourself. They help you grow more resilient, gritty, and self-reliant.
Obstacles are a point in time – once you move through that point, you can look in the mirror and confidently say that you became a better person as a result of what you went through.
On the other hand, struggle is a mindset.
Being addicted to struggle prevents us from doing the deep work, figuring out ways to grow, and learning how to get better.
Since we think, “It will always be hard,” “We’ll never find a loving partner,” or “We’ll always be broke,” our brain shuts out our ability to problem-solve and think of ways to make our situation better.
Instead of reaching for better situations, better people, or the help we need, we act defeated and keep telling ourselves the same old story and singing the same old struggle song.
Struggle is addictive.
Its disempowering essence makes us the victim instead of the victor. It can keep us suppressed for our entire life, keeping our dreams, aspirations, and goals out of reach. Struggle prevents us from living our best life.
Why?
Because we’re too tired, too overworked, too stressed, or too broke.
How to move past the struggle mindset
So, what’s the antidote to struggle? It starts with one empowering question: “How can I make things easier for myself?”
It also requires you to acknowledge that having a simpler life is within reach. Yes, ease, abundance, and grace are within reach. Your days of being a struggling victim are over – today.
When you start thinking about how to make things easier for yourself, you cut the nonsense.
You dump the non-committal guy who’s been causing you nothing but pain and confusion and anxiety.
You say no to additional work that will stress you out and leave you with no time to sleep.
And you reduce the number of steps to get things done, ask for help, and just plain old scrap things that are no longer in alignment with your goals.
Bottom line
Take a moment to write down ways you’ve been stuck in a struggle mindset. Think about even the littlest things.
And ask yourself: “How can I make things easier for myself?” Then, lovingly do those things until your life becomes less of a struggle and more of a joy.
