Like most people, I’ve faced a lot of rejection. And I’ll be honest — it used to crush me. After every setback, I thought, “This must be a confirmation that I can’t do anything right. I’ll never succeed!”
In other words, I wallowed in self-pity.
It was foolish, I know.
But somewhere along the way since then, I changed my attitude towards rejection. I read about successful people who got rejected again and again before finally breaking through and seeing results.
And their stories opened my eyes.
I realized feeling sorry for myself wouldn’t lead me anywhere.
More importantly, I realized rejection could be the key to achieving my goals. Because after all, getting rejected meant that something I was doing wasn’t working, meaning I could take steps to figure out what was causing the rejection and then adjust accordingly.
Now, those steps I needed to take were not what I wanted to focus on — I wanted to pretend that I didn’t need to improve.
But they were steps within my control. And since they were within my control, I had the power to use rejection to propel me forward if I could just learn from my mistakes.
Using rejection to do better
So, instead of thinking I was a failure, I started thinking, “If successful people faced rejection before they finally succeeded, then it’s only a matter of time and adjustment before I succeed, too. As long as I don’t give up, I’ll stay on the right track.”
I’m convinced this is a good way to think about failure and success. Because even though you can’t control everything, you can control whether you keep going or quit.
In the words of Albert Einstein:
“I am thankful for all those who said NO to me. It’s because of them I’m doing it myself.”
If someone as successful as Einstein could look back and be grateful for all the rejections he got, that says something about how helpful they can be.
Because the fact is, unless you give up entirely, you’ll still fail occasionally. Don’t let that discourage you— it happens to everyone.
In fact, do you know who fails the most? That’s right: People who succeed.
Think about that for a second.
Each and every one of the successful people you admire have failed, probably more times than they can count.
I know how easy it is to think successful people were “set up” to succeed from the beginning.
We think that if they were given success on a silver platter, there’s nothing we can do about our own lack of success.
We think success is out of our hands, and those of us who weren’t born rich or well-connected are doomed to fail.
But it’s not, and we’re not — no one is.
There are many examples of people who came from nothing and who became successful in their chosen path on their own. There’s no reason why you and I can’t join them.
The bright side of rejection
Recently, one of my articles got rejected by a big publication. And of course, it disappointed me somewhat. But my disappointment didn’t last — I refused to let it last. I took control of my thoughts and looked on the bright side.
But what was the bright side?
For me, it was this: I found the courage to submit my work, knowing that it might not get accepted. I had the courage to take that risk and not let potential failure hold me back.
That is progress.
If you can face your fear of rejection and not let it stop you, nothing will stop you.
You will be a force for good in the world if you know how to deal with disappointments and keep moving forward in spite of them.
So next time you’re afraid of getting rejected, whether in writing, in relationships, in business, or in anything else, ask yourself: “Is rejection really such a tragedy? Does it mean I’m doomed to get rejected forever?”
Of course not.
In fact, the more you try, the sooner you’ll improve, and the more likely you’ll be to succeed.
So don’t stop. And eventually, you’ll smile every time you get rejected.
Why?
Because rejection means you’re moving forward and trying new things. Rejection means you tried. And that takes courage.
Final thoughts
Don’t let rejection (or success, for that matter) consume you.
Remember — if you woke up wildly successful tomorrow morning or lost everything, it wouldn’t change who you are deep down.
Rejection is hardly the end of the world if you put it in perspective — you aren’t defined by your losses or by your gains, and you never will be.
If you love what you do, don’t let one, two, or ten thousand rejections stop you.
Most of all, don’t stop telling yourself that failure is a necessary part of growth on the road to ultimate success.
This article first appeared on Medium. Check out more helpful content right here!
