Since my youngest years, I’ve been influenced to believe happy endings involve two people riding off into the sunset to live happily ever after.
In movies, TV shows, books, magazines, and all over the internet, being in a relationship is portrayed as the key to ultimate fulfillment.
And of course, when I was a young teenager, I fell for that idea. Hard.
I thought my life would only be complete if and when I found some guy willing to marry me and make my happy-ever-after come true.
In fact, I was so in love with the idea of having a partner that I nearly got engaged as a teen — even though my boyfriend at the time was a far cry from the kind of person I actually wanted to be with.
I was so afraid of being alone and facing my own problems that I believed having a partner, any partner, would make my life complete.
But I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Today, being older (and hopefully a little wiser), I have a different perspective on what happy endings look like.
Now, don’t get me wrong — I’m still a hopeless romantic. I do believe that healthy, functional relationships grounded in mutual respect, empathy, and genuine love can work. In fact, I have every intention of getting married someday and building such a relationship.
But I wholeheartedly reject the idea that the only way for a person to be fully content and fulfilled in life is to have a partner.
We won’t all follow the same path, and that’s normal
People who believe they will only be happy when they find their “one and only” waste years of their lives waiting for some Sleeping Beauty or Prince Charming to come along and save them.
The problem with that mentality is that no one should depend on their significant other to save them from anything.
I like to think of it this way: If I can’t work out my life on my own, how can I expect to work out issues that inevitably come up in every relationship? I couldn’t.
That’s why it’s necessary to be happy and fulfilled as we are, regardless of relationship status.
You don’t need to follow other people’s expectations
The beautiful reality of life is that happy endings come in many different forms.
I have friends who decided to get married and I have friends who decided to stay single. As far as I can see, they’re happy with their respective choices.
The fact is, there isn’t one correct way to live a fulfilling life. We’re all different, and we all see the world through different eyes.
That means relationships aren’t one-size-fits-all, either — what might be fulfilling for one person might be a nightmare for another.
In my last relationship, my boyfriend and I argued more than anything else. After a while, it seemed the only thing we had in common was our mutual dislike for blue cheese dressing.
It was just sad. We were both unhappy — and we knew our relationship wasn’t going to get better.
Inevitably, we broke up. I moved away and started living my own life again. And now, years later, I realize I’m so much happier than I was before.
Leaving a relationship I thought would last a long time turned out to be a good thing for both of us. It made me discover how possible (and necessary) it is to be self-fulfilled — with or without a partner.
So even though I know I probably won’t be single forever, I’m choosing to be happy right now. And so can you.
Final thoughts
Don’t buy into the lie that you can’t be fulfilled without a romantic relationship.
If you do, you might spend countless years waiting and waiting for your life to start — waiting for that elusive Prince Charming or Sleeping Beauty to come along and make your life complete.
So please, live now.
Be happy now.
This is your life, and though it might not be perfect, it can be beautiful.
Even if you don’t have everything planned out, even if there are a million unknowns in your life — and yes, even if you’re single — you can still choose to love your life and live your happy-ever-after right where you are.
I hope you will.
This article first appeared on Medium.
