Giving up gets a bad rap. There’s this idea that if you give up on anything, no matter what it is, you’re automatically a failure.
I used to think that too. But I was wrong.
As I’ve learned, giving up is sometimes the bravest thing you can do. Sometimes, there’s no good way forward and it would be a waste of time to keep going.
How do you decide, though? How do you figure out if you should continue down a particular path or if you should abandon it and do something else? That question has tortured me more times than I can count.
In college, I didn’t know if I should keep going with my liberal arts major or if I should transfer to another college and get a more marketable degree.
In relationships, I didn’t know if I should break up or keep going when things got rocky.
Over and over again, I’ve been conflicted. With time, I’ve found my way, but it’s taken years of trial and error.
So, here are some things to consider if you don’t know what to do.
Are you worried about what people would think if you gave up?
Looking back, I realize I’ve often been more concerned about what other people would think of me if I gave up rather than what I would think of myself if I gave up.
One big reason why I attended a liberal arts college in the first place was that other people thought it would be a good experience for me. Though I enjoyed my time there, I decided to leave after a year. I left for myself.
I knew I had benefited as much as could from a liberal arts education and that it was time to move on.
Am I a failure for having left after a year? I don’t think so. I ended up earning two degrees elsewhere, and I’m happy with my choices. That’s what really matters.
Often, we fear disappointing other people when in reality, friends and family members just want to see us happy and fulfilled. It took me a while to realize that, but it’s generally true.
Don’t agonize about what other people think — follow what you think is best, and those who really care about you will be happy that you’re happy.
Are you thinking of quitting because you’re overwhelmed?
It’s easy to look at all the work that lies ahead and give up because you think you’ll never see the light at the end of the tunnel — I guess everyone’s been there.
But if you really want something, don’t throw in the towel as soon as you experience a problem — instead, rest.
If you’re an entrepreneur, learn to step away from your projects for a while and come back when you’ve taken some time off instead of closing everything down and convincing yourself that you’re a failure.
Often, taking some distance from whatever you’re working on can help you see more clearly and come up with amazing ideas you might not have had otherwise.
No matter what you do, you’ll experience problems and challenges. But if you learn to take things day-to-day, you’ll feel less overwhelmed.
Are you frustrated by a lack of success?
No one can expect to succeed overnight. And based on my experience, it’s a lot easier to keep going if you’re interested in what you’re doing. I came across a quote the other day from an unknown author that really resonated with me:
Don’t quit. You’re already in pain. You’re already hurt. Get a reward from it.
If you’re thinking of quitting because you’re frustrated by a lack of tangible results, maybe you haven’t been working on your goals for long enough. Work on your projects every day, and you’ll be amazed by how far you’ll go.
Would you regret it if you gave up?
Sometimes, it’s clear enough if we should give up or not. For example, I know that if I gave up on my writing, I would regret it. A lot.
Does that mean it’s always easy? No. But I love it, and the benefits of writing are much bigger than the occasional frustrations I experience. Because I know I’d regret quitting, I won’t give in to discouragement.
My reasons for writing are bigger than any reason I might invent for quitting, so when I experience a setback I don’t even consider throwing in the towel.
So, to recap, ask yourself:
- Am I only persevering because I feel trapped and I don’t want others to be disappointed in me? Or am I persevering because I love what I’m doing and because I know the path I’m on is right for me?
- Am I thinking of quitting because I’ve taken on too much and what I really need is a break?
- Am I frustrated by a lack of success? If so, have I been spending enough time working on my goals, or should I make my projects a priority from now on?
- Do I know deep down I’d regret quitting?
Answering these questions honestly can help you determine if you should keep going or give up.
Final thoughts
Whatever you do, don’t keep going just to please other people — keep going for yourself.
If you want something, go after it, and don’t let setbacks stand in your way.
What I do to stay motivated is read about people I admire who are where I want to be. Believe me, there’s nothing like it — it’s insanely inspiring to see how other people reached their goals.
Here’s the bottom line — if you think you’re on the wrong road, quitting might be the answer. There’s no shame in changing your direction. But if you’re on the right road, don’t quit — no matter how long it takes to succeed.
This article first appeared on Medium. Find more helpful content right here.
