I dreamed of the day I could be a princess lost in the jungle, with nothing but a sheer fairy-tale-style sleeping gown and a seashell necklace. My hair wild, my skin sun-kissed, the jungle my playground, and the ocean my backyard. Sounds like something from Peter Pan. Well, it happened, just not quite the same way. I traveled not as Wendy Darling but as me, a millennial chick with the desire to get a bit dirty and lost in the forest. No, this is not another article about my telling you how the mystery of the “millennial child”’ has been solved. This is about how I found out a few things while living off the grid in Hawaii for four months, so keep reading.
My partner and I had planned an extraordinary adventure across the world, one that would take us from Canada all the way to Australia. We had planned to go to Hawaii for only two weeks, while awaiting my work visa for Australia. Well, bad came to worse, and the visa never came. I was about to fly back to Canada, possibly losing the best travel experience of my life, and the love of my life to it, and it all turned around. On a hike to the top of a mountain in Oahu, we found hope. A couple introduced us to people who would become our lifelong friends. A new farm on the Big Island of Hawaii needed workers to get its system up and running. A few hours later we had bought tickets to the Big Island.
Let’s put the discovery story aside for another time. My journey to loving myself as a woman and an animal began on this magical island. I became the lost princess, except I cut down trees with chainsaws, hacked bark off with a massive knife, screwed in pillars for a new house, shoveled dirt, ripped out roots, peed outside, showered in the rain, and even picked wild fruit. This all sounds great, but you will never really know until you try it.
The lost princess who cared about her white dress and matching winged eyeliner started to worry about how much wood was needed for the day, and which day of the week was best for her one shower. The joys of life started to change. Because I had limited access to everyday showers, clean clothes, and mirrors, my perspective of beauty changed. I used to shave my legs, which went out the window, and I used to brush my hair…well, no need if it’s in a braid. I’m not here to protest a woman’s right to grow out her bushy pubes and moustache—by all means, go for it; I couldn’t care less. What I am here to say is that my perspective changed; I measured beauty by how much I was able to laugh in a day, saw it in the sparkling ocean water, a giant glowing moon, the smell of a freshly cut passion fruit.
“Happiness is only real when shared,” said hiker Christopher McCandless. If you haven’t seen Into the Wild, please, do yourself a favor. Anyway, my point is, true beauty is at its best when shared. When I see someone I love smile, that shows me beauty in the truest form, without the vanity. Beauty can mean many things, and I found out that you can choose to focus on the parts you love.
I loved the warrior jungle princess I had become. I loved the sun on my face and how it felt: warm, bright, nourishing. I loved that more than a white complexion. I loved the feeling of mud between my toes more than a perfect manicure. I loved seeing myself once in a while in the mirror and laughing at my crazy hair, rosy cheeks, and wild smile. That to me was more beautiful, it made my heart full, and it was a happiness and confidence in beauty that lasted a thousand times longer than any damn liquid lipstick on the market. It made me smile so big, my face hurt; in fact, I’m tearing up about it all now as I write. I am beyond thankful for such an eye-opening experience. I don’t feel like I have to shave my legs anymore, not because I am making a statement, but because I just love my hair sometimes, and sometimes I shave to change things up. I don’t feel upset when I don’t get to wash my hair every other day, because I have gone without washing it for a month—and no, it didn’t smell bad and look like shit. When you neglect your vanity and focus on the beauty of life’s little things, you heart starts to feel happy; you start to love more, laugh more—and heck, you might become a person who smiles at strangers on the street. Now would that be so bad?
So focus on the other meanings of beauty than just how you look. Respect yourself enough to educate yourself, and read something beyond a long Instagram post. Don’t compare yourself to other people. Value yourself, because you are unique, awesome, and choose to love and feel good rather than feel like shit and be moody. (Trust me, it’s hard; I don’t have it figured out.) Put some serious effort into sorting through things that make you feel shitty, like your bushy eyebrows and thin lips. Who cares? Find people with those characteristics who rock them and who realize that it’s their love of life that makes them so damn gorgeous and inspiring. It’s not because their lips have a certain girth (eww, sorry; I hate that word, but I just had to use it). You’re going to grow old, and you’ll get depressed if your beauty standards are strictly based on vanity. On the other hand, wisdom never gets old, so maybe give that a try.
I’m young. I don’t know anything, dude. I’m writing this because something in my life made me so freakin’ happy that I had to share, because I want to spread the laughter, the confidence, and love. That’s all I have to offer, so take it. It’s free, but that Sephora mascara isn’t.
