If you’re like me, you probably find yourself at a crossroads in life. You may want to change careers or move to another city or volunteer more. But you just don’t know what path makes the most sense.
In short, there are lots of possibilities that you can dream about taking, but maybe you aren’t sure which path is right for you right now. This can be exciting!
But at the same time, it can be overwhelming and anxiety-inducing: part of me is excited to explore these options while another part of me feels paralyzed because I don’t know what I should do next.
We’ve all been there — this is just something that happens as we get older and life moves faster than ever before (thanks, technology).
Regardless of how long it lasts, this period in your life can be filled with excitement about what’s ahead but also uncertainty about which direction will be best for you going forward.
So, here are a few things you can do that can help.
Stop thinking about what you “should” be doing.
“Your life is the product of your decisions, not your conditions.” –Jim Rohn
You might not know what you want to do with your life right now, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have a purpose!
The world needs all sorts of people — it needs artists and scientists and teachers, sure. But it also needs people who are willing to help out at their local soup kitchen or volunteer at an animal shelter.
You may not know exactly what kind of person you would like to be yet, but if there’s anything we can learn from Ryan Gosling’s character in The Nice Guys (2016), it’s this: if something feels right for you in any capacity whatsoever (even just as a hobby), then go ahead and do it!
Work on being kind to yourself.
This could be one of the hardest things you need to work on, but it’s worth it. If you don’t know what your life goals are or how to achieve them, it can feel like there’s a giant black cloud hanging over your head.
This can make things difficult for you and cause even more stress than usual. It’s important that we stay kind to ourselves when we feel this way.
How do we do that? Well, firstly, try to not beat yourself up about how long it’s taking for your direction in life to become clear or how many mistakes have been made along the way. Everyone makes mistakes.
And secondly, find ways of distracting yourself from those negative thoughts by doing other activities, like going out with friends or taking up a hobby. These will help take your mind off things while also getting some pleasure back into your life!
It doesn’t matter what type of activity you choose. Anything will do as long as it keeps negative thoughts away.
Be compassionate with your emotions.
If you’re feeling something, be it happiness, sadness, or anger, that’s okay. You don’t have to judge your emotions as good or bad. They just are what they are.
That doesn’t mean you have to act on every emotion you feel, but it can help if you allow yourself to feel whatever you’re experiencing without judging or trying to control it.
If an emotion is too intense for your liking (like anger), remind yourself that this isn’t the best feeling in the world and try not to linger on it for too long before trying something else (like reading a book).
If an emotion gets out of hand and becomes overwhelming (like sadness), take some time away from whatever is causing more pain than necessary and seek support.
Look for good things every day.
During the time I was feeling lost and overwhelmed, I started to look for the good in each day. It sounds simple, but it’s not always easy. The first step is to acknowledge that your situation may not be as bad as you think it is.
Then, try to focus on the things you enjoy about your life: your partner or spouse (if you’re lucky enough to have one), pets, and other family members who love and care about you unconditionally.
You might also want to start keeping a journal or notebook with all of these little good things in it. That way, when times get tough again in the future, they’ll be there for inspiration and guidance.
Your worth isn’t dependent on a particular career or life choice.
I know it’s easy to feel that your worth is dependent on a particular career or life choice, but it’s not. You’re valuable no matter what you do. Focus on the things that make you happy and take care of yourself.
This might mean getting more sleep at night, taking time off work to recharge during the day, and exploring your options without feeling pressure from others in your life. It’s ok if it takes some time — you’re allowed to take a break.
There’s no such thing as “wasting” time.
You have to be open to the possibility that there’s no such thing as “wasting” time. You can learn from everything you do. And even if you don’t know if it’s worth your time right now, a year or two down the road, you may find yourself grateful for the experience.
The only way to really waste time is by not doing anything at all. As long as you’re learning something new or growing in some way, every moment spent away from work is an investment in your future.
For example, when I was starting my own business, many people asked me what I did with myself during the day while they were working their 9-5s.
I told them that I did lots of things — I worked out at home, I took online courses, I read books. Sometimes, I went shopping or just hung out with friends.
They wanted me to tell them what exactly it was that made up my new job as a “self-employed entrepreneur”.
They assumed it meant “lazily lounging around” while everyone else was busy being productive members of society.
This type of thinking misses out on so much potential wisdom. There’s beauty in taking a different path if it helps us better understand our world and ourselves.
Conclusion
Not knowing what you want to do with your life is a common, normal experience. It’s something that many people go through at some point in their lives, even if it doesn’t seem like it should be happening to them.
And if you’re going through this now, don’t feel like there aren’t any options for you! You have choices about how to handle this time in your life and how much pressure or stress to put on yourself.
And remember: Taking care of yourself is super important. You will get through challenging, stressful times – you always have.
