I believe myself to be a positive person.
Sometimes, though, I get sad and I don’t know why. So I sit and think through what might be causing the problem, find it, and try my best to solve it.
Other times, I get mad because my life is not going the way I want it to. And then I think about all the things I’m thankful for, and how I can learn from what I’ve been given.
And sometimes I doubt myself and forget that I’m ambitious and creative. I convince my brain that I’m not good enough and can’t do anything.
In the end, it boils down to what I choose to do with my faults and misfortunes. I can wallow in the sadness of life’s downfalls or learn from them, get up, and move forward toward greater happiness.
You won’t be happy all the time, and that’s okay
I lived in an apartment with an ocean view on the Gold Coast of Australia — the sunniest place in the country! Every morning I would wake up and look at the ocean, drink my coffee on the balcony, and… feel a little empty.
I experienced the hardest moment in my relationship in that apartment; I was faced with truths about myself that I had neglected to understand for years. And the craziest realization was that what I had thought for years was my dream actually wasn’t.
That realization stung.
What I learned is that you can’t always be happy, even in what you thought was going to be the happiest time of your life, because happiness all the time is just a myth.
That’s the big thing so many people fail to realize. Constant happiness isn’t even good for you. If you had everything given to you, well, you wouldn’t have skills, you wouldn’t have experiences, and you wouldn’t have wisdom.
The beauty and essence of life are just to live it, which means experiencing all that it has to offer. You may not agree with me here — you might say, “You can be happy all the time” — but here’s what I’ve learned:
When you’re trying to be happy, you’re not happy.
Stop trying so hard. Sometimes we need to feel other emotions; that’s why they’re there, and to feel them means that we’re balanced.
I have learned the hard way that you control everything that happens to you. Well, at least the outcome of everything that happens to you. I can simply give up on life when something doesn’t go my way, or I can problem-solve and get on with it.
Complications, accidents, and mishaps never stop happening — not now, not when you’re 60 and believe that you’ve got everything figured out.
You have no idea what tomorrow will be like; don’t bet your life on a dream. Instead, take control. Start a new day by being in charge of what is within your power. Don’t blame things on your emotions or other people; just change the people you surround yourself with, and start owning up to your problems and taking the initiative to change.
Use negative emotions to your advantage
Negative emotions are your brain telling you to change something — just like your finger screams in pain when you touch something too hot; your brain is telling you, “Hey, get that hot thing away!”
So you do. And as you nurse your finger, you instantly try different problem-solving techniques, like running cold water on it or maybe putting on ointment.
Well, it’s kind of the same with emotions. It may be that you don’t like hanging around your group of friends anymore. If that’s the case, ask yourself if it’s because you’ve changed and need different friends. Or maybe it’s because you have become antisocial, in which case there might be an issue with yourself you need to look deeper into.
Maybe you feel your friends are better than you, and you feel excluded from the conversations.
Figuring out the problem is the first step, and solving it is the next one — the part people usually give up on. The solution may be finding new friends or picking up a hobby, which can teach you new skills and give you something to talk about.
Regardless of your problem, if you think you’re boring, dumb, and ugly, that’s your fault. You have the power to change that, and it isn’t anybody else’s responsibility to do it for you. Happiness won’t just fall in your lap – you have to go out there and find it. That Instagram ad claiming your stress will dissolve when you download an app for $3.99 is just marketing, my friend.
No matter how many socks and unicorn mugs you have, your problems won’t dissolve and you won’t be more relaxed; you’ll just have less money and more sh*t in your house.
Bottom line
You have the power to change the way you think, which will change your outlook on life. So when your car breaks down, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. It can be just a shoulder shrug that leads to problem-solving.
When it rains, you can decide it’s beautiful instead of miserable.
When a tragedy hits you, process it and try your best to move forward. Life doesn’t stop for anyone, not even for a moment. And the point of it all isn’t to smile and laugh all the time. It’s to appreciate love and happiness because you know what pain and sadness feel like; otherwise, you would just be numb.
